Friday, May 17, 2002

I left Colton's place around noon today and went straight to the beach. I walked down to the shore and just stood there with my eyes closed, listening to the waves crash onto the shore and breathing in the salt air. It was wondeful. I wanted to shed my clothes and go for a swim right away. But I didn't. Another day.

I got back into reading Thoreau's Walden again. It's a very good book and I really think Henry and I would have gotten along well if I had ever known him.

I listened to a lot of Tori Amos today. I love her music, and her voice, and what she says and the way she says it. Little Earthquakes and Under the Pink are two of the most emotive albums I own. I have Boys for Pele too, but I haven't listened to it enough yet to have an opinion of it.

I finally cried again. And as with the last time I cried (two years ago), it was sobbing. Tears cascading down my face and that inability to talk which I hadn't experienced in so long. It was as though my emotions were transformed into stuttering, loud, wet sobbs instead of words. Though the reason I cried wasn't a happy one, the crying itself was incredible. A release I have spent two years longing for. I just hope it doesn't take this long to cry again. I'd prefer crying more often rather than pent-up emotional explosions, two years apart.

I have somehow acquired an ear infection or something at least something that causes ear pain to go along with this sickness I have. I am going to the doctor tomorrow.

My Mom and I went to see My Big Fat Greek Wedding tonight. It was funny, and it was nice to see a movie with just my Mom - I haven't done that in a really long time.

I am going with Adam and Colton and Adam's sister Ashlee (who is like a sister to me as well) to see Star Wars, Episode II: Attack of the Clones tomorrow night. It should be fun; Adam already saw it the other night and he really enjoyed it.

I'm kinda tired, and I need to get myself better, so I'll go to bed now. Perhaps I'll read some more Walden.