No Wonder I Loved T&C Surf Designs

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

I've never fully understood the feeling of being in control. Some people have to be in control to feel safe while others need to be controlled to feel safe. But what is it that gives us that feeling of safety? Is it that we truly are safe in that setting or that we've convinced ourselves that we're safe. Does safety even exist? And there are levels of safety so is it a certain level that we're seeking or simply SOME sense of safety no matter how pure or genuine?

I wonder if school does this to us? Pounding into us the idea of structure and position and ultimately control (whether it be from the teachers, or administrators, etc.) until after years of involuntary exposure we subconsciously develop the need to at least acknowledge that there are those in control and those who are controlled.

But, as some of us come to see little by little, the order of life is not preset. And if it is, it's not in human hands. People settle into designated order and settings but these things are imperfect and temporary.

I always find myself returning to yin and yang. It applies to control as well. You must understand that you have much more control over life than you can imagine, but you must also understand that you cannot maintain control over anyone or anything else.