Another white dash, another white dash...

Saturday, May 8, 2004

Sometimes you just want to run. Run away, run home, just run. Get out and go and then come back just so you can do it again.

So I road-tripped to Philadelphia with my friend Mike to pick up Something Corporate's trailer and bring it back. We originally were going to do it in 6 days, but we opted to stay in Philly for an extra day of rest and fun. So 5400 miles in 7 days. Still pretty gnarly. We chilled out for two Something Corporate shows and did our share of partying and I got to see my friends who still lived in the area or are still students at Villanova. It all went very fast but I felt satisfied with the mini vacation. Mike and I got to have some good conversations, eat some good food, and listen to a whole lot of Led Zeppelin and Tom Petty. Driving 18 hours a day is pretty intense, but you get used to it and you get to learn a lot of the rules of the road. Mike and I also spent a lot of time "on the junk" as we call it - having very little sleep and a lot of caffeine thus inducing laughing fits and depleted language skills. Good times, good times indeed.



Rarely do I find satisfaction in my ability to speak. Even when it seems to come out right, I can't help but immediately criticize myself because I know that the words I'm using are an incomplete manipulation of finite tones used to represent something intangible and infinite. I'm dissatisfied with words. We spend so much of our lives communicating in words (of any language) but words become stale and lose their already limited meaning and we instead grow to assign our own meaning to the words others use. And even if we have extensive vocabularies, intent on gaining the means to cover every verbal angle, we are unable to escape the paradox that words are always defined by more words.

I often experience the insatiable desire to hold someone so close and tightly that our bodies pass through each other and for that moment feel what the other feels. I want to rip open my chest and set my soul free to join another's. I think the first time I ever got really depressed was the day I realized that I could never do that.

The warm weather and longer days are doing their job of getting me excited for summer. I hope I go to the beach more often, I never go as much as I should for how much I love the ocean.