Thursday, March 25, 2004
I went to Mexico for the first time on Monday. It's kinda odd that I'd never been considering how close it is, but the right time never came I suppose. I went with my roommate Charlie and his friends Chris (who might as well be a roommate) and Brian. We drove down to Ensenada for lunch. It was the most amazing Mexican food I've ever tasted. But I imagine that is probably true of any national food - go to the source for the best. It was in an empty little restaurant with lots of polariods on the wall and predominantly red and yellow painted walls. As if the food were not good enough, we got 10 beers for 10 dollars (Dos Equis). The atmosphere was thoroughly relaxing. After walking through the city and visiting shops and looking out at the ocean for a bit, we headed back up north for a short stop in Tijuana before coming back home (cos I had to work that night).
As moved as I was by the gorgeous lanscapes and genuine native culture, I was overwhelmed by the amount of sheer poverty. We passed endless amounts of shantytowns and run down buildings from deserted or never-finished resorts. The conditions in some of these places was unbearable. I was also disturbed by the social outcasting of native indiginous Mexicans (who at one time inhabited the mountain regions). These were the ones trying to sell of the cheapest of hand-made, often useless, trinkets. They were the ones approaching cars at the border. A young girl of probably seven, came up to my window with her hand out and a look on her face of such emptiness and struggle. It shook me to the core. I wanted to get out money for her, but the rest of the guys told me not to because our car would then be mobbed by the rest of the beggars and we would have a hard time getting out (and we were late already). It really really hurt me to not be able to do anything for this young girl's life. The look on her face is still ingrained in my memory. It's kept me thinking about poverty and economics and class distinctions and rights of birth and all of the global social dynamics that continutally keep the world's wealth so disproportionately distributed.
After work that night I had a conversation with this guy Marcel that I work with about global poverty and economics and the frameworks for social change that have succeeded and failed. He and I tend to get into philosphical or ideological coversations at one in the morning for some reason. Coincidentally we have both recently come to the conclusion that we will join the Peace Corps in the not too distant future. It's one of the most genuine, positive, and seemingly effective means of stimulating the betterment of humanity.
So yeah, that's been on my mind.
On another note, and strangely enough out of another conversation I was having with Marcel, I have realized what I hope and believe heaven will be. I believe that after death we will be given complete and utter understanding. An understanding that our human minds cannot even begin to comprehend. The COMPLETE story behind every occurance that ever happened. The story of life, unabridged. Every thought that has occured, every step that has been taken, the growth of every plant, the birth of every animal, the reasons behind every joy and every pain you ever experienced, the complete set of emotions felt by every person you ever knew or didn't know, the way it feels to be famous, the way it feels to be homeless, the way it felt for someone to kiss you, the way it felt for someone to love you, the song that was playing the minute you were born and the song that was playing the minute after you died. The answer to every question that could ever possibly be asked. Because searching for answers is what we do. Understanding is what we strive for in every facet of our lives from day 1 to day X. Heaven will be every question and every answer. There will be no more searching. Only an eternal content bliss.
Or so I hope.
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